@ Aorii: That’s probably the rational, realistic answer. There aren’t too many extremes in life, so it’s unlikely for a person to have to completely sacrifice their dream to attain happiness, or vice versa. Of course, it’s one of those things that ultimately remains a mystery until you experience it for yourself.

@ UltraEternalBlackout: Thank you! I know you’re sorta working with digiboy now, so be sure to let us know if you start your own blog or join Twitter or something. I’m glad you enjoyed the post ^^

Incidentally, if anyone is reading this and wants to know what I would have rambled on about had I chosen H&C instead of F/SN, it’s pretty much this.

http://samukun.wordpress.com/2010/01/13/diary-of-an-anime-lived/

Although, one can also look at it from a different way, that both UBW and HF is about accepting yourself. In UBW, it’s the Shirou’s dreams. In HF, it’s Shirou’s feelings and desires. Real life is rarely as extreme as drama and rarely do our dreams and wishes perfectly contradict one another. Frankly, I doubt the average person will ever fully grow out of the UBW phase. As my dad once told me: “my dreams evolved with life”. Why does changing the planned trajectory necessarily mean the abandonment of the previous goal? That’s definitely a form of half-empty thinking if I’d say.

On that note, I’ll take HF over UBW anydays, but probably cause my sense of morality is messed up and I hate it when the world is painted in Black & White: UBW cracked but failed to break that barrier.

I do relate with that I never really was ostracized or excluded because of my interests. As an adult I don’t chat up colleagues or business partners about anime, but it’s more about them being clueless about it than any shame about it. I don’t necessarily bring up tennis to those who aren’t into it either.

So I see why I really don’t share the stigma of ‘otaku’ and perhaps shouldn’t attempt to identify myself as such, provided that the definition requires such exclusion and perhaps bitterness and/or pride for such ‘otherness.’ I share this because I felt good about you sharing yourself as someone similar somehow.

As for being a hero, I really don’t know. I have personal heroes, but I wouldn’t know how to become one myself.

Neither path is wrong, because the truth is that no matter what, you are going to fucking DIE. And then it’s OVER. Happiness lasts until you die. Your dreams last until you die. If you can die without disappointment, then that is all that really matters. If you can be proud of your happiness or proud of your struggle, then you are still ‘doin it right.’

I’m in some kind of limbo, myself. I am so sedated in life that I’m afraid of throwing things away in the name of my dreams, but I am also too afraid of settling for less than my ultimate ambition. Who knows if I’ll ever select a single path – all that matters to me is that I am proud and I know that if I die, I will die without regret.