Yes, I’m aware that she isn’t using a laptop, and no, I don’t know who she is.
A mere day after Christmas, Owen wrote something on what he saw as a damaged social life – how the internet changes the way we interact with people, and how our lives can change as a result of it. This, from what I’ve experienced, can be very true; why bother forcing yourself to talk about something you find uninteresting when all of your fellow bloggers and anime fans are waiting for you on Twitter and IRC? Why bother scouring your school for the most diligent fans when you’re already connected to some of leaders of the community? Those are two of the many questions that I’ve been asking myself recently, and I believe that Owen covered the topic in much detail; there’s little more that I can say to back up his point.
However, I don’t think we agree on everything, either. The internet, as I see it, is not a bad thing, and it’s certainly not something we should distrust or discredit. My thoughts on the matter are rather scattered and not too distinct, but while I can agree that common interests are treated more as a given for those of us who are active on the internet, I don’t think I can bring myself to look down on the method of communication, either.
If you haven’t read the original post yet, the general gist of it is that having experienced conversation – sometimes lengthy conversation at that – with our peers that share our interests, it becomes increasingly harder to talk to people that we have nothing in common with. As I’ve noticed myself, and as all of you have probably noticed as well, this is more or less true: don’t you find it easier to talk about the latest episode of ef than that fact that it is/isn’t snowing outside? And even if it isn’t easier, don’t you find it more interesting?
This topic can be tested quite easily in the scenario of a family gathering, such as the ones that people often plan around Christmas (and I’m guessing that was what spawned this entire train of thought). Personally, I can honestly tell you that I have very little to talk to my family about, mainly because our interests – and even personalities, much of the time – are quite different. When you add the age gap to that, conversations generally end up at the dreaded “‘How’s school?’ ‘Good’” stage, which is pretty much as unpleasant as talking about the weather. (If it’s snowing out, do we really need to debate it? Do either of us have anything to gain from said debate?)
For some reason, though, things like that never bothered me. Even if I have very little in common with my family members, even if my interactions at school are limited to the two or three people I know that are actually capable of keeping up a conversation involving something that interests both parties without drifting off into mainstream shounen and Gaia and whatever else nerdy teenagers are stereotypically interested in – even if my social interactions in real life aren’t the greatest, I can’t bring myself to worry.
And maybe that’s because I have the internet.
One point I believe I should raise is the age gap that we have within the anime blogosphere. From the 14 (now 15, actually) year old Kairu to the late twenties/early thirties ghostlightning, the ‘sphere contains writers and readers of all walks of life, and I think we can all agree that a person’s age is a huge factor in determining who they associate with and how they do it. An adult working in business would have more experience with communicating with others than a junior high student, right? A person who can drive will be able to travel around farther than a person limited by public transit, and a person with a decent job could buy a plane ticket and travel even farther. As we grow, our lives change with us, and the way we look at the world – as well as the way we communicate with others – develops naturally. Ultimately, all of us bloggers are human beings, and when we talk about anime, it’s always through the eyes of a person, and each of us has lived through different experiences. It’s easy to look at us as a collective pile of usernames, each with the same lifestyles and personalities, but the reality of the matter is the exact opposite.
So at the end of the day, just what am I trying to prove? Nothing, really. A matter such as this one would probably take a team of sociologists to dissect, and I’ve never been one to pretend to know more than I actually do. However, I truly do think that there’s something to be said about communication through the internet. As I’ve established in this post, my social life is far from perfect, and many times I find myself more curious about what lelangir will write for his next EPIC essay than what movie my friends went to see. I suppose I’m naturally antisocial in a way, but I tend to look at it from the opposite perspective, being that I can talk when I have something to talk about – and if I have nothing to talk about, or no one to talk to, then I’ll stay silent.
For a person like me – and I’m sure there are many others like me out there as well – socializing through the internet isn’t something to frown upon. And given my optimism (I’m the kind of person that pretends to be cynical but clings on to some shapeless form of hope anyhow), I haven’t started fearing for my future yet: the older you get, the more people you meet, and the higher the chances become of some of those people being compatible with you. When that time comes, I’m sure I’ll be able to dig up what I remember of RL socializing, and the barrier of “small talk” can be quickly broken by two people that have a natural affinity for one another.
And in the mean time, I’m not afraid to say that I’m logged out of MSN where all of my classmates are and that I’ve got my eye on TwitterFox that keeps popping up in the bottom-right corner of my screen. The loss of the ability to talk to people in real life can be a scary thing, and it’s easy to classify it as the beginning of hikikomori-dom or something equally unpleasant, but as Martin said in the comments of the original post, a person active in online communication might only be doing it because they’re unable to communicate in real for various other reasons. I carelessly worded my own comment on the post, but in retrospect, I believe that Martin was right: the internet might not be what causes a declining social life, but rather quite the opposite. Some people live in a place or in a specific scenario in which it’s difficult to meet other people that you’re compatible with, and if that’s the case, then of course the person will be more active online.
I know I’m liable to be flamed for this, but from where I am now, I can’t help but see the internet as more of a blessing than a curse. As countless IRL-meetups around the world have proven, usernames on the internet are human beings in the real world, and communicating through the web should be no different than talking to an old friend on the phone. Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean that it isn’t there, and I mean that in the least religious way possible, but it’s a bit too pessimistic in my eyes to blame the net for holding back your social life. After all, it’s through the internet that many of us first met, and as I’m sure the blogosphere vets can tell you, there’s nothing wrong with making a few extra friends, even if those friends are on the other side of the globe.
~ ETERNAL
つづく
